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Client Reflections: The Impact of Coaching

by Matthew Walley October 10, 2014

Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Dave!

Being a bit of a smart-ass, I’ve often said, “thanks for pointing out the obvious.”  It serves as a fun, self-serving, witty line laced with sarcasm in response to someone saying something like “Boy, it sure is hot!”

Well, about a year ago, that phrase began to take on new meaning for me. It all started when I had an exploratory call with a coach at Frame of Mind Coaching by the name of Dave.

I was going through some tough stuff in my life, and I was treading water, looking for someone to throw me a line. I’d had business coaches for years who had helped me to implement ideas that resulted in positive outcomes at work.  However, my personal life was suffering and I didn’t know where to turn. One night I was having a drink with a friend and colleague who suggested that I reach out to Dave, which is where “thanks for pointing out the obvious” took on a life of its own.

[one_half]During our first call, Dave asked a lot of questions in order to get to know me. He began digging for the story of who I was, what was happening in my life, where I wanted to be and how he could help.

Words began flowing from me in a stream of consciousness until suddenly Dave said, “Repeat what you just said.”  I thought for a minute but couldn’t pinpoint what he was referring to.

“Uh…” was about all I could muster until Dave said, “Do you have a pen and paper?” I responded that I did, and Dave said, “Write this down”. I readied my pen and Dave repeated what I had said.

[/one_half] [one_half_last]

 

Dave Gorham, Matt’s coach, explains his coaching process [/one_half_last]“You said, ‘I just feel like I should be somewhere else.’” As my pen left the page revealing what I had written, it was as if a light shone on that phrase and unveiled an entirely new perspective.

“Wow!” I did say that, but it obviously wasn’t registering with me. That simple phrase had become a blind spot.  It was something that I’d been thinking for so long that it had no real impact on me anymore. At least until now. Until Dave pointed it out and asked me to put it in writing.

That was the day that coaching began to change my life. I became aware that I’d been feeling that “I should be somewhere else” for way too long, but hadn’t paid much attention to it or done anything about it. I’d had business coaches for years, and yet, they always focused on the external. They focused on what I could “do” rather than on who I could “be.”

Together with Dave, I began to work on the bigger picture. The experience was like the saying “Put the man together first and the world will fall into place,” I noticed that my world began shifting when I looked internally.

I began to focus more on my thoughts, and in particular, I began identifying the thoughts that were working to defeat me versus those that worked to propel me. As we focused on my positive thoughts, things began to change. Through this journey together, we uncovered the values and the beliefs that I’d been carrying around for years, and then we spent time determining how (and if) each of those was serving me today.

I’ll leave you with one simple idea. We all have recurring thoughts every single day, some are good and some are not. Many of them have been with us for so long that we don’t even realize they are there. Who’s pointing out the obvious in your life? Who’s caring enough to help you focus on the good?

Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Dave!

 

Is the way that you’re thinking holding you back?

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