5 Coaching Red Flags To Look Out For

What specific qualities does a great coach have? The answer, frustrating as it might be, is that it depends. It depends on what you’re looking for in a coaching experience, what kind of coach you work best with, and what problems you’re trying to tackle in your personal and professional life.

None of this, of course, means there aren’t things to look for in a coach. But when it comes to knowing what a good coach is, it may be easier to outline what a good coach isn’t. 

If you’re looking for a coach you can work with effectively, here are five coaching red flags you’ll absolutely want to avoid.

1. Someone who doesn’t get your full story

A good coach should invest time in understanding your full story. They shouldn’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions about your situation. If a coach isn’t actively listening and working to understand your unique circumstances, they may not be able to help. Instead, they’ll start offering suggestions that might not apply to your specific experience—which leads us to our next red flag. 

2. Someone who gives advice instead of asking questions

While advice can be valuable, a coach who immediately jumps to giving advice without fully understanding your situation may not be offering the most effective support. Effective coaching involves a process of exploration and reflection before offering guidance.

Picture this: you tell your coach that you want to be promoted but haven’t really looked into it. Instead of asking you why you’re at a standstill, your coach advises you to “speak up for yourself” and march into your next review with confidence. 

In this scenario, what your coach has failed to do is ask you what is getting in your way, what you think about yourself and your abilities, what you believe is required to earn a promotion, what you think might happen if you asked for a promotion, etc.

Without asking questions, your coach won’t be able to give the kind of guidance you need for the specific situation you’re dealing with. And that’s why asking questions is so, so important in a coaching relationship.

3. Someone who prioritizes goals above progress

While exploring goals is an important aspect of coaching, an exclusive focus on goals over other factors can do more harm than good. There are several reasons for this.

First, a goal-oriented relationship with your coach might help in the short-term, but it doesn’t help you grow in the long run. After all, is your coach always going to be around to help you achieve goals? Probably not—so what happens once you no longer have a coach? Will you keep reaching goals, or will you fall back into old habits?

Second, focusing on goals too much avoids some of the bigger questions about goals. The truth is, you probably don’t need much help setting goals. Instead, your coach should be focused on the thoughts, beliefs and motivations that inspire your goals. These are the deeper factors at play, and they have everything to do with what kinds of goals you set, how you work toward achieving them, and whether you do achieve them. 

In the end, beliefs shape our perceptions and behaviors, and a coach who neglects to address underlying beliefs may not be addressing the root causes of your challenges. 

4. Someone who isn’t on your team 

A coach should be your advocate, believing in your potential and supporting you in living the life you’ve always wanted to. If a coach doesn’t demonstrate belief in your abilities or advocate for your success, it can be challenging to make progress and stay inspired.

Make sure you have a coach who is in your corner rooting you on, not someone who expresses doubt in you. When you know that your coach sees you in a positive light, it becomes that much easier to see yourself this way and become your best self.

5. Someone with narrow scope

Holistic coaching considers various aspects of your life. A coach who only focuses on one aspect of your life (like work) may miss important connections and opportunities for growth. Everything in your personal life affects your professional life, and everything in your professional life affects your personal life. 

That’s why it’s essential to work with a coach who takes a holistic approach, considering your goals, beliefs, relationships, and overall well-being all at once. 

Use what you don’t want to get what you DO want

A great coach should demonstrate understanding, ask questions, identify beliefs, advocate for you, and take a holistic approach to your development. Without these important qualities, your coaching will likely fall short.

Do you have more questions about coaching? We love helping people understand how coaching relationships work. Let us know what you’re wondering about and we’ll do our best to help.