The Itchy Sweater: A Leadership Lesson in Contrast

Years ago, I bought a beautiful sweater. Soft. Stylish. Expensive.
One of those pieces that looks perfect on the hanger—and even better in theory.

But the first time I put it on, something felt off.

It itched like crazy.

At first, I tried to rationalize it.
Maybe it’s just the tags. Maybe I’ll get used to it. Maybe I’m being too sensitive.
I tossed it in the wash. I soaked it in fabric softener. I convinced myself I was imagining it.

It still itched.

And no matter how good it looked on the outside, my body told the truth:
It wasn’t right for me.

That sweater taught me something I carry into every conversation with leaders:

Contrast brings clarity.

Why We Ignore the Itch

Leaders tolerate far more than they admit.

They stay in roles that drain them because they “should be grateful.”
They hold onto responsibilities that once made sense but now feel misaligned.
They say yes out of habit—even when every fiber of their being is saying no.

And then they beat themselves up for feeling restless, frustrated, or dissatisfied.

But discomfort isn’t a character flaw.
It’s not immaturity.
It’s not a lack of resilience.

Discomfort is data. It’s feedback. It’s contrast.

Contrast helps you see what isn’t working so you can move toward what will.

The Power of Contrast in Leadership

Contrast is often the first sign that something in your leadership—or your life—is out of alignment.

It shows up as:

• Quiet dread before a meeting

• Annoyance you can’t quite explain

• The heaviness that hits before walking into the office

• A role that looks “perfect” but feels suffocating

• A team dynamic that drains energy instead of fueling it

Most leaders try to push through.
Ignore the itch.
Convince themselves they’re imagining it.

But here’s the truth:

The thought is the problem—not the sensation.

When you examine what the discomfort is pointing to, you start to see the real leverage point:
your thinking.

Contrast shows you:

• What energizes you (and what depletes you)

• What aligns with your integrity

• What no longer fits who you are becoming

• Where you’re performing instead of leading

• Where your beliefs are out of date with your reality

This is where clarity begins.

When You Finally Stop Ignoring the Itch

I eventually donated that sweater.
And I’ve never purchased anything made from that fabric since.
Now I reach for soft, cozy, comfortable materials—things that feel as good as they look.

Leaders deserve the same.

You deserve roles that feel aligned.
Relationships that feel honest.
Decisions that feel clean.
A life that feels like it actually fits.

Not just on the outside, but on the inside where the real friction lives.

What’s Your Version of the Itchy Sweater?

Every leader has one.

Something that looks right on paper:
the promotion, the partnership, the title, the workload, the image.

But inside?
You know it’s not working.
You feel the friction.
You sense the misalignment.

The question is:

What is the contrast showing you—and what would you rather have?

You don’t need to blow up your life.
You need to examine your thinking.
That’s where the clarity lives.

Ready to See It Clearly?

Most leaders don’t lack answers, they lack space to see their own thinking.
That’s where the real shift happens.

If you’re ready to understand what your “itchy sweater” is trying to tell you:

Book a Complimentary Coaching Call.
Let’s go straight into the mess and make sense of the contrast together.