How To Find Your Life's Passion: With Noel Saunders

It can be easy to lose sight of our long term goals. Be it because we're building a business or raising a family, life can get in the way. Then when we finally notice that we've been neglecting our goals, we end up asking ourselves: what is my true passion?

Welcome to a new episode of The Frame of Mind Coaching™ Podcast with my guest, Noel Saunders. Noel has a great life, a great job and a great wife, but there are some big changes coming his way, and he’s not totally clear on his life’s passion.

As I share with Noel, a great way to manage a huge change in your life is to start with a solid foundation, then build new routines and traditions. Those three things can help us stay grounded, and when we’re grounded, we don’t bring anxiety or fear to the table.

Another thing that I suggest to Noel is to look back at his life and try to remember what used to light him up. As he looks back, he can journal about those moments, what they meant to him, who he was with, what was happening, and then discover what those moments have in common. That way, he’ll be able to find his true passion.

Finding your passion

Today we’re going to talk about what to do when you don't know what your passion is in life. We’re also going to talk about how to rediscover a passion you might’ve lost along the way.

Before we dive in, let’s get one thing straight. It doesn’t matter how you ended up here. It’s possible you're in the midst of a tough situation — maybe you lost your job or went through a divorce. It’s also possible something incredible is happening, but it’s distancing you from things that previously defined you. 

And it’s also possible that nothing has outwardly changed, and that the emotions you’re grappling with “seem” normal — boredom, listlessness, apathy and a lack of inspiration in your daily life. Even if that’s the case, it’s a sign that you’re on the precipice of an emotional change you’re just beginning to understand. 

No matter what made you disconnect from your passions, the path back to them doesn’t change. No matter why you’re experiencing an upheaval, we’re going to use the same tools to discover what it is you really care about. Are you ready?

In order to help you rediscover your passion, we’re going to do a little history check. I want you to think about all the things you’ve done over the span of your life where you were completely, utterly engaged. Don’t tell me you’ve never had moments like these, because all of us have. Take a moment now to look back at the different events, projects, things and people you’ve been involved with where you felt lit up (even if only temporarily). What did those things make you feel, and how did it feel to feel them? 

To get you started, here’s some questions you can ask yourself to jog your memory:

• What did I love doing most as a kid?
• What sorts of things do I never have to be told to do?
• What were my passions and hobbies in high school?
• What did I excel at in the past?
• When did I last get butterflies in my stomach from the prospect of something?
• Who are some of my favorite people in my life, and why do I like them?
• What subjects do I feel like an expert on?
• When I dream of my “ideal” self, what am I doing?
• What are some things I don’t want to lose sight of as I age?

These are just starter questions, but they’ll get you thinking about the things you automatically love. Stuff that excites you a priori, without you feeling like you “should” enjoy them. And, news flash: whatever these questions help you unearth, remember that your passions don’t have to be something grandiose or wild. 

There are people out there who could spend hours writing about guitar equipment. Others could spend half the day cooking a luxurious meal and not bat an eye. And still others could bike fifty miles and still be excited to exercise tomorrow. All of those things would bore me to death, but they’re someone else’s passion. 

Because that’s what a passion is: it’s just something you do. It’s the thing you naturally enjoy doing without having to think much about it. In fact, the reason so many of us lose sight of our passions as we age is because it becomes harder to pick out what we love from our ordinary daily behavior.  

Creative flow

Another part of embracing your passion involves tapping into that sense of “creative flow” that people get when they’re immersed in a project. We touched on it briefly earlier, but the concept of creative flow involves being so immersed in a pursuit that you essentially enter another reality. That reality isn’t bound by the usual constraints we place upon ourselves: the fear of failure, the noticing of time passing, the anxieties of executing a project perfectly… the list goes on. 

A lot goes into creative flow that’s still being understood — there’s the notion of being surprised by oneself, the uncertainty of what’s being created even by the creator, and the instant, rapid recreation of meaning. Some of it starts to get a little precious, maybe, but it’s a great indicator of what you’re truly passionate about. 

Consider these questions the next time you’re trying to ascertain your passions: 

• What could I lose sleep doing?
• When was the last time I looked up at the clock and realized the whole day went by?
• What do I get a little obsessive about?
• What subject could I give an entire presentation on without having to prepare for?
• When I’m procrastinating, what do I sneak away to do?

This is just another way to “history check” yourself into finding those existential bright spots that made you excited to be alive, present and engaged with your surroundings. Jot down your answers and start crucially assessing the connections you’re making with each one.

Finding your inner child 

A lot of these questions involve a similar theme: they force you to look back at a past version of you that was intimately connected to what you loved and enjoyed. In essence, they help you remember what it felt like to be a kid who was passionate about things. In fact, kids are probably better at being passionate than adults in most ways. 

Think about it: a kid doesn’t need to be told to do something because it’s impressive or lucrative. If a kid wants to study bugs, they study bugs. If a kid wants to play football, they’ll play football. And when they get bored, tired or disengaged with those things? They’ll find another passion to explore. There’s no self-judgment, nor is there a sense of failure for not committing to something. 

That’s how I’d like you to be. Really take stock, look back and start to track the commonalities in your life, and once you do you’ll start receiving answers you’ve never realized before. In fact, that’s where coaching comes in: a really great coach asks the right questions that help you understand your own history. They’ll help you uncover patterns that surface and help you gain clarity about your situation. 

Want more advice on how to navigate finding your passion? You’re in luck: I conducted a whole podcast episode on the subject. Give it a listen — and let me know if I’m able to help you work through your personal passion crisis.