What to do when the world feels dark
Sometimes, the world feels overwhelmingly heavy. The political landscape shifts, tensions rise, and all of a sudden, it seems like everything around you gets cast in shades of black and white.
This is how a lot of people are feeling—with the holidays and family gatherings just around the corner, it’s normal to dread interactions with people who don’t seem to share your values. You might be anxious about difficult conversations, or feeling powerless in the face of changes that you can’t directly impact.
But even in these moments, you have more power than you realize. Here’s what to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed because the world seems dark and you don’t know what to do next.
Recognizing your emotional landscape
First things first: when you’re feeling overwhelmed, it helps to unpack those feelings. Get specific about them. What are you feeling in your chest right now? Is it anxiety, grief, fear, anger, or something else? The more you understand what’s going on inside of you, the better you’ll be able to respond to it.
A great way to start this process is by journaling. Whether you’re writing things down in a notebook or an e-journal, getting the thoughts out can help you both understand and analyze these feelings.
Once you’ve done that… it’s time to let those feelings go for the moment.
Why, you ask?
Because it’s time to pick your battles
When facing challenging situations—like an awkward conversation at Thanksgiving—you have a critical choice to make. During those interactions, are you committed to being right about your beliefs or having a harmonious relationship with your family?
Your primary job is your own wellness. This means protecting and preserving your emotional state so that you have energy and emotional capital to spend elsewhere.
And why should you spend that energy elsewhere, rather than arguing with your family?
Because arguing with your family doesn’t net you any long-term good. If you’ve done the journaling exercise above and you find that you’re feeling exhausted, scared, and angry, will arguing with your family make you feel any different about that?
Chances are good that the answer is no. You might only end up angrier, more bitter, and more confused.
Instead, you’re allowed to make your peace with family so that you can focus on something else—being the light in a dark time.
Being the light in dark moments
“In the midst of darkness, be the light” isn’t just a beautiful sentiment—it’s a practical strategy. How can you practice it? Here are three ways:
- Practice non-judgment: Recognize that people make choices from their own complex experiences. This doesn’t mean agreeing with everything, but it does mean maintaining human dignity. Your best opportunity to get through to someone is when you’re not at odds with them, and being non-judgmental is the best way to create the kind of peaceful dialogue you want to have with others.
- Focus on what you can control: Instead of getting overwhelmed by massive systemic challenges, identify small, meaningful actions you can take. If there’s a specific issue you’re particularly upset about, think about what you can actively do to make a change in your community. You may not be able to alter the world, but making a difference for people you regularly interact with will help you take control of your world.
- Create positive impact: Channel your concerns into constructive actions. This might mean volunteering for causes you care about, supporting organizations aligned with your values, connecting with like-minded individuals and providing direct support to the communities you care about. Or it could simply involve bringing joy to those around you—whether you’d like to cook for others, turn your home into a space to process emotions, or something else, there are a lot of ways for you to make life better for the people you love. Choose what feels right for you.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself
Getting involved is worth it, but it can also be tiring. So, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t forget to also get involved when it comes to protecting your personal wellbeing. Consider what makes you happiest, and where you feel most peaceful.
Do you love to read? Do you like to spend time outdoors? Do you have a hobby you enjoy? Do you want to create art, writing or other works that help you investigate and explore your personal feelings?
Whatever you choose, having an outlet to channel and release your feelings will help you get them out in a healthy, natural way. This puts less pressure on you, as well as your family, when it comes to hashing out differences—you won’t feel the need to make a futile stand against people whose minds aren’t likely to change, because you’re already making a stand in your community and practicing mindfulness techniques that help you keep your inner peace.
Remember: you’re not compromising your values by doing this. You’re preserving your own wellbeing so that you can make active contributions to causes and initiatives that matter to you.
Get outside help from a source you trust
In moments of overwhelming uncertainty, it sometimes helps to bring in a third party. Someone who’s not your family, your friends, or anyone else who has an agenda when giving you advice.
To that end, coaching can act as transformative resource for finding clarity, resilience, and strategic direction.
Here’s a little bit about coaching: unlike traditional therapy, coaching focuses on forward movement, helping you bridge the gap between your current reality and the life you aspire to create. That’s especially useful right now, considering you can’t change the past by ruminating on it—something therapy might encourage.
Conversely, a skilled coach can offer several crucial benefits during challenging periods:
- Objective perspective: When you’re caught in the midst of emotional turbulence, a coach provides an outside, neutral viewpoint. They help you see beyond your immediate emotional landscape, identifying patterns and opportunities you might be missing.
- Self-accountability: Coaches don’t just listen—they challenge you to move forward. They teach you how to become accountable to yourself, and how to create your own goals—instead of simply making goals for you.
- Emotional resilience: A great coach can teach you not just how to overcome adversity with speed and ease, but also how to leverage that adversity into something that benefits you.
- Skill development: Beyond emotional support, coaching can help you develop specific skills like communication, belief restructuring, and strategic thinking—tools that are invaluable when navigating difficult times.
- Creative encouragement: Coaches aren’t just there to help you stick to your goals. A great coach can help you channel what you’re feeling into creative other that bring you joy. This kind of support will help you learn more about yourself while also expanding your worldview and helping you focus on other things that make the world seem less dark.
Take advantage of the situation
Last but not least, it helps to ask yourself an important question: when you’re facing something you don’t like but cannot change, start thinking, “How do I turn this challenge into an advantage?”
This kind of reframing shifts you from identifying problems in your life to identifying solutions to those problems. You might not be able to change what’s happening, but you can change how you think about it—and in doing so, develop skills that allow you to help your community.
What issues can you use to your advantage? What opportunities does this dark moment allow for? How does this change in your life allow you to change for the better?
A final note on hope
The world is never completely dark. There are always pockets of light, moments of connection, and opportunities for positive change. Your task is to find those spaces, nurture them, and help them grow.
You are stronger than the challenges before you. By maintaining your integrity, protecting your peace, and taking intentional action, you become a beacon of hope—not just for yourself, but for those around you.
